realizations.

i will never be as successful as i want to be.
i will never be as thin as i want to be.
i can eat half a chicken in about half an hour.
i love to destroy things.
i stay up late because i'm scared of my nightmares.
i have such a facade.
i follow too many fashion blogs.
i follow too many blogs, period.
i hope to be the girlfriend one day, not the random fuck.
i sometimes wish i was born ten years earlier.
i have breakdowns at freakishly regular intervals.
i have always wanted to fly planes.
i won't try hard drugs because i have such an addictive personality and i'm terrified of it.
i have irregular and dangerous eating habits and it doesn't bother me.
i like walking home in the morning in last night's clothes with no make-up on.
i wish i could rewind to where we met and start where we began.
i live in a constant fear of the chopstick killer.
i wish that i wasn't so easily overcome by paranoia.
i want to move out as soon as i can.
i miss hong kong more than i can say; i like england, but hong kong is still where my heart remains.
i want to become rich enough so that my mother doesn't have to work another day in her life.
i love my family so much sometimes it hurts.
i love torrential rain, snow and cold sun.
i want a room in my house for all my books.
i am made of good intentions.
i drink alone far too much.
i miss my father a lot.
i haven't had a nosebleed since that time i bled for an hour. maybe it ran out.
i think i've used up my allocation of tears on guys.
i like dancing alone in the rain.
i wish i could breakdance.
i'm glad that i'm alive.